Jamie

Book Review: Delivered From Distraction

I read Dr. Ned Hallowell’s “Delivered From Distraction: Getting the Most out of Life with Attention Deficit Disorder,” the 2017 revision of his 2005 book. This is a follow-up to his earlier book, “Driven to Distraction.” Full disclosure, I actually listened to the unabridged audiobook. It’s read beautifully by Dan Cashman. This was the first book that I read after finding out about my own ADHD.

What stands out about this book?

Dr. Hallowell is open about the fact that he has ADHD. Writing as one of us adds a level of depth to his understanding that many experts are lacking. He wrote this book with the ADHDer in mind, knowing that many of us struggle to finish reading books, even when we start with the best of intentions. So he wrote the first chapter as a bit of a catch-all. Its subtitle is to the point: “Read this if you can’t read the whole book.”

The book is perhaps the perfect introductory material for those new to ADHD, either undiagnosed or recently diagnosed. While recognizing the many struggles brought on by ADHD, the tone throughout the book is overwhelmingly positive. Hallowell absolutely believes that ADHD is a strength, and helps frame it that way as he presents it to you. I really appreciated the following tips that he gave in one of the early chapters.

The Seven Habits of Highly Effective ADD Adults:

Do what you’re good at. Don’t spend too much time trying to get good at what you’re bad at (You did enough of that in school).
Delegate what you’re bad at to others, as often as possible.
Connect your energy to a creative outlet.
Get well enough organized to achieve your goals. The key here is “well enough.” That doesn’t mean you have to be very well organized at all—just well enough organized to achieve your goals.
Ask for and heed advice from people you trust—and ignore, as best you can, the dream-breakers and finger-waggers.
Make sure you keep up regular contact with a few close friends.
Go with your positive side. Even though you have a negative side, make decisions and run your life with your positive side.

What makes this book useful?

The strength of this book is its ability to reach the ADHD novice and give her or him the tools needed to get on a path toward understanding and potential diagnosis. In the book, Dr. Hallowell includes a guide for using the ASRS (Adult ADHD Self-Report Scale).

The beginning questions on the ASRS are these, with each being given a response on a continuum including Never, Rarely, Sometimes, Often, and Very often:

How often do you have trouble wrapping up the final details of a project, once the challenging parts have been done?
How often do you have difficulty getting things in order when you have to do a task that requires organization?
How often do you have problems remembering appointments or obligations?
When you have a task that requires a lot of thought, how often do you avoid or delay getting started?
How often do you fidget or squirm with your hands and feet when you have to sit down for a long time?
How often do you feel overly active and compelled to do things, as if you were driven by a motor?

Dr. Hallowell then gives his own self-assessment quiz, which is more descriptive and not diagnostic, but which I found very helpful. As I was questioning whether I had ADHD. the list really solidified in my mind that I wasn’t simply making all this up.

Beyond the basics of ADHD, Hallowell has provided a wealth of information regarding ADHD in this book. There are real-life examples of folks who he has diagnosed through his practice. These stories further serve to bring to life the impacts of ADHD as well as illustrating many potential solutions to make ADHD a positive force in your life.

Topics covered in other sections of the book include: conditions that coexist with ADHD, distinguishing bipolar disorder from ADHD, dyslexia, the role of genetics in ADHD, addictions, treatments, nutrition, supplements, and physical exercise recommendations, getting rid of piles, choosing the right partner, etc.

What didn’t work for me

Honestly there was nothing in this reading that didn’t work for me. I have heard from some people who feel that it’s too simple and would prefer a deeper dive into many of the topics presented, but they agree with my assessment that it’s an excellent introductory book to the ADHD world. Even knowing as much as I do now, I would absolutely consider it my go-to resource for ADHD.

Final verdict

This book is a must-read for the ADHDer or those trying to understand the ADHDer in their life. Dr. Hallowell sees ADHD as a gift, which I know shed some very positive light in my own life as I was struggling to come to terms with knowing I had ADHD. This book answered so many questions I had about ADHD, and explained so plainly the various impacts ADHD can have on your life. But it also comes with a strong message of hope, that properly treated, ADHD can be a great asset to your life.

If you only read one book on ADHD, make it this one. You won’t regret it.

🧠🧠🧠🧠 🧠 5/5 Brains – Excellent Read

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If you are interested in purchasing Delivered From Distraction, you can do so here on Amazon. And for further reading on Dr. Amen’s approach, you can visit his website at DrHallowell.com.

I am not paid or sponsored in any way through this post or the links I share. They are provided solely for the benefit of my readers.

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Working from Home with ADHD Part 2: Staying Motivated

Photo by Dominika Roseclay on Pexels.com

This is part two of my “working from home” series, prompted by Covid-19 creating a great influx of workers into the home environment, including me. Part one dealt with setting up your workspace and schedule.

Accountability checklists

It is hard to do things. With ADHD it is even harder to do things. With ADHD and without accountability, it’s nearly impossible. So working from home, telecommuting, or whatever your current situation, see if you can build in some accountability. It seems somewhat easier to accomplish tasks when you have a boss at your workplace who is going to come by and check on you from time to time. If you still need something like that, try creating check-ins with your boss. These could be calls, texts, emails, or video chats.

I am asking my staff to email me at the beginning and end of every day to let me know what they’re working on, and then reporting back to let me know how they did. My hope is that knowing the end-of-day email is coming will help with some of that motivation. I do the same with my boss, as that gives me a real and tangible accountability for my work, which my ADHD desperately needs.

An example of my accountability checklist that I send to my supervisor. Each day starts with the empty boxes and I change them to checked boxes as I go.

✅Review staff check-in/check-out emails
✅Zoom with School Team
✅Zoom with Admin Team
✅Prepare and file TPS reports
🔲Check status of team progress on distance learning materials
✅Zoom with state superintendent’s office
✅Plan for tomorrow

If you’re having trouble staying focused and productive, something else you can try is related to scheduling. Each day, set up a list of things you want or need to accomplish. Play with the order so you have something to look forward to after the more undesirable tasks. Maybe include rewards or a break when you hit certain checkpoints or milestones.

And by the way, this list doesn’t have to be shared with your boss. You can share with a close friend, family member, or many use the accountability section of our online ADHD support group.

Minimizing distraction

You’ve probably already found the best workspace possible in your home, as far from distractions like TV, food, and people as possible. But with stay-at-home and quarantine orders going around, you may find it difficult to feel truly alone, as it’s not likely that anyone has much choice about who will be around in their home right now. I have a family of four, and we’re all pretty much stuck under this roof for the foreseeable future.

I have chosen the best workspace I can to stay out of their usual paths. I will also let family members know when I have crucial tasks on my schedule for the day so they know when it’s extra important to stay quiet. For young kids, this may be when I engage screen time. For adults, they can often plug into headphones and find a quiet task to do at the same time. And don’t forget, if you’ve got your desk right next to your favorite distraction, that’s probably a bad idea.

Self Care

Just four days into working from home, I cannot stress this enough. My job is just as many hours at it always was, though my 2 hour commute has been reduced to 2 minutes. But despite averaging more than an hour of sleep extra and gaining another hour of family time in the evening, this work seems so much harder. And I think it’s because I really never leave the office now.

I get to come down for lunch with my family, and I always get dinner with them. These are amazing bonuses to working from home. But at the end of the day, I may spend 8 hours staring at a computer screen while sitting in the same chair that digs into my thighs while I stare out the window at the same scene day after day. So what needs to change to make this work long term?

Self care. Please learn from my experience this week. Shower every day. Eat healthy meals. Try not to graze all day. Put breaks on your calendar. If permitted locally, go out for a walk. Get fidgets and other small items of interest to brighten your workspace. Make sure you have time to get up and walk away. If you need to take a mental health day, make arrangements and do it. Working from home is still work, and you can burn out even more easily if you’re not careful.

I should do a whole post on self-care sometime. What do you do for self-care? Please share in the comments below

How can anyone work at a time like this?

With all that is going on in the world at the moment, it can be extremely difficult to focus on school or work. What you’re being asked to do may seem trivial or meaningless when you consider that Covid-19 is raging through our communities and we have no idea what the future will bring.

I can’t tell the future any better than you can. But I do know that this too shall pass. The virus will eventually work through to its endpoint. We will move on, and life will eventually resume. Much of what we typically do has been taken away by the virus and responses to it.

Take this opportunity to carve out as much normal as you can. Because when it comes down to it, the best that most of us can do right now is follow guidelines and stay home. There isn’t a lick of good that will be accomplished through worry or fueling our anxiety and depression by hyperfocusing on Covid-19. Keep it from winning by doing. Don’t get frozen into inaction. Start small. Pick a place to work and make a to-do list. And don’t forget to have a little fun. You’re at home, after all.

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ADHD Voices: Kristin

I have always had this “I don’t care what anyone thinks” but also, “why does it seem like no one likes me” internal struggle as long as I can remember. I was a generally happy, active kid. I did dance, scouts, sports, etc. I did average to well in school. I struggled with friends, I had trouble “fitting in.” I had big ideas. I wanted to be a professional baseball player, President of the United States, or an author, to name a few of my elementary career choices.

Life in school

Middle school was okay. Same issues, just more hormones in the mix. I remember my biggest struggle academically in elementary and middle school was being assigned something to read that I did not particularly enjoy. It was so hard to read it; I found it literally painful and unable to be completed. I often got caught up in gossip in middle school amongst friends. My intentions were to be a peacekeeper but I seemed to have a knack to cause turmoil amongst my social groups.

High school was fun. I was in the marching band, I had some boyfriends, and I had a core group of friends throughout high school. One moment that sticks out in my mind is at band practice, we were practicing our routine and needed to freeze at a particular spot, like literally freeze and not take another step….I couldn’t do it. I always took one more step. The instructor was livid. Everyone was cracking up, and I had no idea why I could not freeze when I needed to. It literally felt like I had no control.

I struggled in school a little more. Things that did not interest me were awful. I struggled, resisted, and tried to make it work. At some point, my mom pondered if maybe I did have ADD and took me to be evaluated. I went to a psychologist or something and in one session, they concluded I did not have ADD so that was that.

Again, I had friends, I graduated high school with honors, I was accepted at Michigan State University. When I reflect on my childhood at home with my parents and 3 younger sisters, I was an asshole if I did not get my way. I would attempt to make everyone miserable if I was miserable. I would trash the house, yell, scream, etc. My mom could generally keep her cool, my dad, a fellow ADDer, would not always remain level headed. I was grounded quite a bit.

I did have the oldest child thing going for me, I had such an urge to attempt to do everything my parents asked me to do, that I did not often challenge major decisions, and usually respected rules and such. I often was accused of “parenting” my younger sisters. My next sister and I basically hated each other from middle school until we were adults. It was a working hateful relationship but we definitely did not respect each other until much later.

Finding my niche in college

My freshman year of college was really hard. I went away to school so I was learning how to manage my own time, going to class with 300-400 other people, and not having to show up if I didn’t want to. I struggled the first two years, netting a 2.0 GPA, and then I found my niche and became a Social Work Student—the program that required the least amount of science.

I graduated with honors, had an amazing internship in the Mayor’s office in Lansing, MI, and I got a grant job at the College of Nursing that had social work students and nursing students working together. I liked what the nursing students were doing better. I joke I went to college the first time to learn how to be an adult learner. I started chipping away at my science classes I needed to apply for Nursing school, they were so hard, but I wanted it, so I made it work. I graduated with my BSN in Dec. 2007 and have done well as a nurse…for the most part. 😉 You know, ADHD struggles.

Adulting

Here I am hyperfocused on my school story, during that time, I also got married and moved back to my hometown. ER nursing was my career choice. As my primary care doctor says, “I think most of you that work in the ER have ADD/ADHD, you can’t sit still!” As a nurse, there is always an opportunity for overtime, I could easily work 50-60 hour work weeks.

I burnt myself out. I started thinking about having kids and not wanting to be pregnant and working 12 hour shifts. I had a vacation request denied, and well, ADHD, abrupt decisions based on one heated feeling. I got a M-F nursing job at the same hospital in informatics, I helped build, train, implement, maintain the new Electronic Medical Record application for the inpatient setting, it was an amazing experience.

But I missed the ER and hated the Monday through Friday monotony. And I popped out two kids in 4 years. It was so mundane to get the kids to daycare, go to work, pick the kids up, go home, make dinner, put them to bed, do laundry, etc. (my husband was present and supportive, but this story isn’t about him). I kind of hated life and wanted to go to grad school. So I went back to the ER part time, and 5 years later made it to grad school!

I found out through parenting

My son struggled with school in 2^nd grade, falling behind for the first time. After the first half of the year, his teacher was always redirecting him. I took him in for ADHD evaluation. Then I read it.

OMG, I am him, this is me, I have ADHD.

This explained so much: impulsivity, over-emotional response, ability to hyperfocus, messy house, hating cooking dinner or taking the time to eat, and so on. I got myself some Adderall and connected with some online resources like ADHDSurprise, ADHD Alien and much of the ADHD Twitter community. I also enjoy The ADHD Mama, Dank ADHD Memes and Authentically ADHD on Facebook. It feels so good to know I am not alone, the struggle is real, but it is not impossible to manage and be successful. The kids and I have all started counseling to give us the tools we need to be successful in life. I am getting my daughter, who is in first grade, evaluated this summer. I’m often tempted to toss one of her brother’s Adderall tablets in her mouth just to check. 😉

ADHD is a superpower if you can make it work for you and embrace your differences. It feels so good to know I am different and that is okay. Instead of feeling like I am wrong, I just acknowledge I am different and that is okay. I also feel like in the last few months with the Adderall, I have been able to slow down, not be so quick to respond, while letting stupid things go instead of getting fired up and firing off.

I feel like now that I recognize my thought process is different, it allows me to pause and reflect that whoever I am working with is often taking a different path. It is so important to recognize that because it allows me to have flexibility and not be upset if they don’t get my idea and also recognize why I may not understand their idea or thought process. I feel like my future is so much brighter and I will succeed with some of my big goals since ADHD gives me guts to dream big and go for it, and Adderall helps me think about it and make an effective plan!

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If you’d like to connect with Kristin,
she can be found as @EDRN_Mommy_KP on Twitter

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ADHD Voices is a series dedicated to sharing the stories of folks like you and me who have ADHD. Posts in the series are written by guest authors, sharing windows into their lives and struggles, written by them, for you and me. If you’d like to share your story, please contact me on social media or through my email, ADHDsurprise @ gmail.com

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